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        <title>Ψ Dare To Dream...</title>
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        <description>Mental Health Information By A Licensed Therapist</description>
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            <title>Self-Knowledge - Emotional Intelligence For Personal Growth Part IV</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p><i>This is the fourth in a series of articles on emotional <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence" title="Emotional intelligence" rel="wikipedia">intelligence</a> for personal growth.</i></p>

<p>Self-knowledge is something we all strive towards. But how many of us have done a complete review of our <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotion" title="Emotion" rel="wikipedia">emotions</a> <img src="http://dej.us/gallery2/d/2993-3/P1010442.JPG" width="300" align="right" />and how they influence our thoughts and behavior? Most people find that pretty hard to do, especially since they struggle to put their feelings into words. We talk about "will power" as the ultimate <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motivation" title="Motivation" rel="wikipedia">motivation</a>. It might surprise you to find out that motivation is really emotion.</p>
<p>Emotion in it's simplest form is motivation, "...each emotion offers a distinctive readiness to act; each points us in a direction that has worked well to handle the recurrent challenges of human life." (Goleman, 1995, p4) Entering a state of mindfulness or flow a person reaches "perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of performance and <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learning" title="Learning" rel="wikipedia">learning</a>. In flow, the emotions are not just contained and channeled, but positive; energized; and aligned with the task at hand." (Goleman, 1995, p90)</p><span style="float: left; padding: 5px;"><a href="http://www.researchblogging.org"><img alt="ResearchBlogging.org" src="http://www.researchblogging.org/public/citation_icons/rb2_large_gray.png" style="border:0;"/></a></span>
<p>The skill of reading another's feelings is built on self-awareness and flow. People who have good empathy skills are better adjusted emotionally, more popular, more outgoing, and more sensitive. Childhood neglect dulls empathy. Abuse makes people hypervigilent to emotional cues. Empathy predicts intervention to prevent injury to another, certainly an important action in primitive communities.</p>
<p>Expressions of emotions have been found to be a cross-cultural repertoire of non-verbal emotion communication and serve essential functions in cooperative society. "...emotional communication functions to bond <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_group" title="Social group" rel="wikipedia">social groups</a>. ...language evolved as a more efficient form of grooming and facilitates group cohesion. ...the use of clear signals to communicate intentions and motivations aids the regulation of group processes." (Waller et al 2008)</p>
<p>Human attributes, as important motivation, self-awareness, empathy, <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_communication" title="Nonverbal communication" rel="wikipedia">non-verbal communication</a>, get little attention in education in our society. The very complexity of our current circumstances makes it our mutual interest to ensure that our community has learned as much as possible about how to understand emotions.</p>
<p>Psychologists have been studying <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_bias">cognitive bias</a> for many years. The various biases demonstrated in these psychological experiments suggest that people will frequently fail to make rational judgments in systematic, directional ways that are predictable. How many of us understand how bias works in our lives?</p>
<p>Many people persistently avoid and suppress negative emotions because of how painful they are. The trouble is, the more they avoid negative emotion, the more negative experiences they have. Those who have experienced emotional excess at it's worst have been traumatized as a result. Revisiting memories of the events seems to stir up the pain all over again for no good reason.</p>
<p>But there is a heavy cost for avoiding emotion. The very act of making a decision and acting on it with any level of motivation depends on emotion. The kind of snap judgments we make in social situations require a finely tuned awareness of our emotional reactions. Even in decisions that allow more time for reasoning, seldom do we have sufficient factual information to make it completely rational. Instead, we have to weigh the information we have with emotional memories of similar situations and intuitions about the current situation to make our best judgment.</p>
<p>People who have learned to numb their emotions have impaired judgment. Their social judgments, their problem-solving and <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision_making" title="Decision making" rel="wikipedia">decision making</a> are plagued by systematic error. Many report finding themselves in repeating past mistakes. Many lament that they repeatedly find themselves unsatisfactory relationships, sometimes with abusive and/or chemically dependent partners. They may not recall an error in judgment such as an event they over-looked that might have warned them of the ultimate outcome.</p>
<p>Understanding our emotions is critical to self-knowledge.This is often the part of ourselves we know the least about. However, our ability to read and make use of emotions has been honed over thousands of generations. Even our chimpanzee friends have a similar ability, though no where near as well developed as ours. This conceptual skill is called the "theory of mind." The term theory of mind was introduced into the scientific literature by primatologists who observed a chimpanzee's ability to understand the intentions of an actor in film clips, which enabled her to predict the actor's next move. Theory of mind is the ability to be aware of others' mental states as different from our own. We then use that knowledge to identify others' intentions, motives, beliefs, desires, and feelings in order to interpret their behavior. This is a skill we all have and use all the time. It is critical to communication, building and maintaining relationships, and for most us, our ability to make a living.</p>
<p>A mother, attuned to her child, responded emotionally, physically, and supportively to the child's expressed distress. The mother's theory of her child's mind allows her to anticipate the child's needs and provide for them. Her facilitative movements and empathetic <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facial_expression" title="Facial expression" rel="wikipedia">facial expressions</a> communicate her emotional and physical attunement to her child in a way that helps the child convert a felt, physical, sensory experience into a contained mental, conscious awareness of his internal experience, the warm supportive presense of his mother. That awareness enables the child to regulate his affect and distress. It enables the child to develop a sense of self different and separate from his concept of his mother. Mother, then ultimately others, come to be seen as a source of relief, comfort and pleasure. Self-expression comes to be seen as good, loved, accepted, and competent. From this basic begining, the child develops a rudimentary sense of self (Wallin, 2007).</p>
<p>Consciously practiced mindful self-awareness provides an opportunity for the development of a theory of mind for ourselves. Our ability to interpret others behavior utilizes a finely tuned ability to perceive not only a person's behavior, but their unspoken intent. Understanding our own behavior is not so easy. In a real sense, others can see us and interpret our intentions much better than we can. We would rather believe that we know our own minds, that we have a clear idea why we do what we do. Research says that that is often not true. There are all sorts of influences to decision of which we are unaware. Our ability to predict expected punishment is enhanced by our bodily arousal (Dolan, 2002). It would appear that a cool and reasoned state of mind is not as good at predicting punishment. Yet we make some judgments and prepare ourselves for response without any awareness (Kahneman, 2003). Well-learned goals can be activated by environmental stimuli and attendant behavioral plans can run their course without conscious awareness. People can be unknowingly enticed to either trounce an incompetent competitor or protect his self-esteem by words that that encourage acheivement or friendship (Westen, 1998).</p>
<p>Interpreting another's behavior is enhanced by our ability to face and observe that person. We cannot observe ourselves directly. Instead, we rely on our ability to remember our thoughts, feelings and behaviors and make inferences after the fact. There are many unconscious barriers to the accuracy of our memory of our behavior and it's context. We are naturally biased to see ourselves in the right and be suspicious of others. We must learn to correct for our natural biases in order to create a useful theory of our own mind. </p>
<p>There are several skills we can learn and enhance to better understand ourselves and others. Many of these skills are learned in our most cherished relationships, starting with our mothers. We need to be aware of the nature of mental states, that understanding ourselves and others is often difficult and incomplete; people can change their mental state to minimize pain, or disquise themselves. Our interpretations of others are influenced by our own internal states. Feelings often do not follow logic or reason. Mental states evolve from day to day and experience to experience. Parents are highly influential teachers of their children. Their teachings are influenced by that which they learned from their parents. What we learn as children often must be revised based on our adult experiences. Our very presence in a relationship influences the others mental states and in turn our own, often beyond our awareness (Wallin, 2007). </p>
<p>Self-knowledge is often difficult and painful to acquire. Our learning is most robust from a major mistake that we can acknowledge and examine unflinchingly. Healthy self-esteem enhances the accuracy of our self-examination, poor self-esteem distorts it as either positively or negatively based on our willingness to accept the truth. Prediction of our behavior and others is improved with mindful practice and experience over significant time periods. </p>
To be continued....
<br><br>
<h4><b>References</b></h4>
<p><span class="Z3988" title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.jtitle=The+American+journal+of+psychiatry&rft_id=info%3Apmid%2F18676591&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fresearchblogging.org&rft.atitle=Mentalization%3A+ontogeny%2C+assessment%2C+and+application+in+the+treatment+of+borderline+personality+disorder.&rft.issn=0002-953X&rft.date=2008&rft.volume=165&rft.issue=9&rft.spage=1127&rft.epage=35&rft.artnum=&rft.au=Choi-Kain+LW&rft.au=Gunderson+JG&rfe_dat=bpr3.included=1;bpr3.tags=Psychology">Choi-Kain LW, & Gunderson JG (2008). Mentalization: ontogeny, assessment, and application in the treatment of borderline personality disorder. <span style="font-style: italic;">The American journal of psychiatry, 165</span> (9), 1127-35 PMID: <a rev="review" href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18676591">18676591</a></span><br>
<span class="Z3988" title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.jtitle=Science&rft_id=info%3Adoi%2F10.1126%2Fscience.1076358&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fresearchblogging.org&rft.atitle=Emotion%2C+Cognition%2C+and+Behavior&rft.issn=00368075&rft.date=2002&rft.volume=298&rft.issue=5596&rft.spage=1191&rft.epage=1194&rft.artnum=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sciencemag.org%2Fcgi%2Fdoi%2F10.1126%2Fscience.1076358&rft.au=Dolan%2C+R.&rfe_dat=bpr3.included=1;bpr3.tags=Psychology">Dolan, R. (2002). Emotion, Cognition, and Behavior <span style="font-style: italic;">Science, 298</span> (5596), 1191-1194 DOI: <a rev="review" href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1126/science.1076358">10.1126/science.1076358</a></span><br>
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. Goleman 1995. New York: Bantam Books.<br> 
<span class="Z3988" title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.jtitle=American+Psychologist&rft_id=info%3Adoi%2F10.1037%2F0003-066X.58.9.697&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fresearchblogging.org&rft.atitle=A+perspective+on+judgment+and+choice%3A+Mapping+bounded+rationality.&rft.issn=0003-066X&rft.date=2003&rft.volume=58&rft.issue=9&rft.spage=697&rft.epage=720&rft.artnum=http%3A%2F%2Fdoi.apa.org%2Fgetdoi.cfm%3Fdoi%3D10.1037%2F0003-066X.58.9.697&rft.au=Kahneman%2C+D.&rfe_dat=bpr3.included=1;bpr3.tags=Psychology">Kahneman, D. (2003). A perspective on judgment and choice: Mapping bounded rationality. <span style="font-style: italic;">American Psychologist, 58</span> (9), 697-720 DOI: <a rev="review" href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.58.9.697">10.1037/0003-066X.58.9.697</a></span><br>
<span class="Z3988" title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.jtitle=Emotion&rft_id=info%3Adoi%2F10.1037%2F1528-3542.8.3.435&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fresearchblogging.org&rft.atitle=Selection+for+universal+facial+emotion.&rft.issn=1931-1516&rft.date=2008&rft.volume=8&rft.issue=3&rft.spage=435&rft.epage=439&rft.artnum=http%3A%2F%2Fdoi.apa.org%2Fgetdoi.cfm%3Fdoi%3D10.1037%2F1528-3542.8.3.435&rft.au=Waller%2C+B.&rft.au=Cray%2C+J.&rft.au=Burrows%2C+A.&rfe_dat=bpr3.included=1;bpr3.tags=Psychology">Waller, B., Cray, J., & Burrows, A. (2008). Selection for universal facial emotion. <span style="font-style: italic;">Emotion, 8</span> (3), 435-439 DOI: <a rev="review" href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/1528-3542.8.3.435">10.1037/1528-3542.8.3.435</a></span><br>
Wallin, D. J. (2007). Attachment in Psychotherapy. New York: The Guildford Press.<br>
<span class="Z3988" title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.jtitle=Psychological+Bulletin&rft_id=info%3Adoi%2F10.1037%2F%2F0033-2909.124.3.333&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fresearchblogging.org&rft.atitle=The+scientific+legacy+of+Sigmund+Freud%3A+Toward+a+psychodynamically+informed+psychological+science.&rft.issn=0033-2909&rft.date=1998&rft.volume=124&rft.issue=3&rft.spage=333&rft.epage=371&rft.artnum=http%3A%2F%2Fdoi.apa.org%2Fgetdoi.cfm%3Fdoi%3D10.1037%2F0033-2909.124.3.333&rft.au=Westen%2C+D.&rfe_dat=bpr3.included=1;bpr3.tags=Psychology">Westen, D. (1998). The scientific legacy of Sigmund Freud: Toward a psychodynamically informed psychological science. <span style="font-style: italic;">Psychological Bulletin, 124</span> (3), 333-371 DOI: <a rev="review" href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037//0033-2909.124.3.333">10.1037//0033-2909.124.3.333</a></span><br>
</p>

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<blockquote>Our Righteous Minds were designed to unite us into teams, divide us against others, &amp; blind us to the truth -Jon Haidt http://bit.ly/9N7TyU</blockquote>

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            <title>Living together? Put it in writing</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p>This is good advice for those who forgo the formality of marriage to live together. This advice applies all romantic couples who have children, financial, and/or assets or other shared valued items.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100131/FEATURES14/1310349/1025/FEATURES/Living-together&amp;-Put-it-in-writing&amp;template=fullarticle">freep.com | Detroit Free Press</a><br />
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<blockquote>People go into these relationships out of love, but they don't use their heads," says Pamela Radzinski, a Southfield <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce" title="Divorce" rel="wikipedia">divorce</a> and family law attorney.</p>

<p>Yet census data show the number of opposite-sex couples living together hit 6.8 million in 2008. That's up from 5 million in 2006 and up from less than a million some 30 years ago, reports USA Today, citing census data. Cohabiting couples make up roughly 10% of all opposite-sex U.S. couples, married and unmarried.</p>

<p>But if you want to live together in the state of Michigan without marriage, Radzinski advises people to get a written <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contract" title="Contract" rel="wikipedia">contract</a>.</p>

<p>Though the notion may not sound romantic, Radzinski says she recommends that all couples get a non-marital agreement drawn up by an attorney before moving in together. It should cover issues such as <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Division_of_property" title="Division of property" rel="wikipedia">division of property</a> and assets, what will happen to children, and support for a nonworking partner in case of a breakup.</p>

<p>A contract is especially important in Michigan, where those living together don't receive the same protection as married couples, says Radzinski. She offers an example she's seen many times: The woman stays home, the man tells her he'll always take care of her -- until he leaves and she's left with nothing....</p>

<p><a href="http://family.findlaw.com/marriage/marriage-resources/le18_6_1.html">Sample cohabitation contract</a></blockquote></p>

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            <pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 12:58:06 -0600</pubDate>
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            <title>Self-Awareness - Emotional Intelligence For Personal Growth Part III</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p>This is the third in a series of articles on emotional intelligence for personal growth.</p>
<p>Self-awareness is one of the most important benefits we get from spending time in a mindful state. The longer we are able to stay mindful, the more we learn about our selves. We come to recognize the ebb and flow of our thoughts, moods, emotions and impulses. We begin to see relationships between our thoughts and feelings and external events.</p><div class="zemanta-img mt-image-right" style="margin: 1em; display: block; float: right; width: 310px;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Boschsevendeadlysins.jpg"><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/99/Boschsevendeadlysins.jpg/300px-Boschsevendeadlysins.jpg" alt="The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things..." height="258" width="300"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image via <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Boschsevendeadlysins.jpg">Wikipedia</a></p></div><p>One thing we notice is that our thoughts and feelings often contradict each other. Our emotional selves and our rational selves often have conflicting memories, perspectives, and motivations. On the surface, positive emotions seem helpful, and negative emotions seem to be destructive. </p>
<p>There is an old Cherokee <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folklore" title="Folklore" rel="wikipedia">folk tale</a> called the "Wolves Within". </p>
<blockquote><p>An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.</p> <p>I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.</p>
<p>But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.</p> 
<p>But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.</p>
<p>Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."</p> 
<p>The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"</p> 
<p>The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."</p></blockquote>
<p>Likewise, many of us grow up with messages that discourage us from expressing anger and other negative emotions. We often learn very young to suppress our anger because it is seen as disrespectful to our parents. There also appears to be a common belief that strong emotions can control our behavior. Indeed, we often hear about people who have a "bad temper" and anger management programs proliferate to treat mostly men who can't seem to manage their anger. </p>
<p>Sadness is another negative feeling that has had a bad rap. Many people feel horribly shameful for crying in front of someone else. The word "depressed" is often used interchangibly with sadness to describe the feeling. This serves to further pathologize normal feelings. Many people I've treated fear becoming sad as the first step of becoming depressed again.</p>
<p>Sadness is a feelling commonly felt whenever someone experiences a loss. Depression is a mental illness characterized by prolonged sadness and impaired function. Depression goes well beyond simple sadness to where the body has begun to shutdown. Symptoms include what is called neuro-vegetative signs that cause interruption of natural sleep and eating patterns as well impairment in concentration, memory, and decision-making. </p>
<p>I've found it useful to conceive of the mind as having two main parts. One part is largely made up by the cortex, or the evolutionary most recently developed brain structure. It's this part of the brain that is largely responsible for manipulating symbols, interpreting and remembering patterns of perceptions, and self-awareness and self-monitoring.</p>
<p>The cortex overlies a phylogenically older part of the brain that largely makes up the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomic_nervous_system" title="Autonomic nervous system" rel="wikipedia">autonomic nervous system</a>. [Its sometimes referred to as the "Lizard Brain" because even reptiles have equivalient brain structures.] In this part of the brain, the body functions largely "automatically". Here the heart is stimulated to beat, breath is maintained, pain sensors are monitored, Automatic behaviors like walking and steering a car are monitored, largely without conscious awareness. Here is also the roots of our emotions, the biochemical and hormonal precursors to the thoughts whose symbolic representations we create to understand our emotions.</p>
<p>Roughly speaking, the cortex is the thinking part of the brain, the autonomic nervous system is the emotional and functionally analogic part of the brain. That part of us we imagine as "rational" or "logical" largely resides in the cortex. Those parts of us that are instantly compelled to act out of sheer emotion reside in the autonomic brain. Virtually all of our behavior is in fact the result of BOTH parts of the brain. The cortex retains a veto on most emotionally inspired behaviors beyond basic instinct. So we duck when we hear a loud noise, but we consciously retain the decision whether to run or not. It is equally inaccurate to call our behaviors as rational manifestations or solely emotionally based. Our behavior is largely the result of both parts of us.</p>
<p>Why would we have both kinds of emotions if we didn't need them? Whether your put your faith in <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_selection" title="Natural selection" rel="wikipedia">natural selection</a> or God, would we expend so much negative energy if we didn't need it? I think it's more useful to think of the body as a functional whole that emerged from generations of development into a amazingly effective organism. We seem to naturally have an amazing ability to heal ourselves. </p>
<p>So which is true, are negative emotions the scourge of our existence? Or do we need both kinds of emotion to make us complete? Are negative emotions always evil, inspiring only the most despicable manifestations of our behavior? Or does the negative serve to differentiate, elaborate and balance the positive?</p>
<p> Our motivations are largely emotionally driven. Negative emotions push us to face and act on those things that make us most uncomfortable. Positive emotions allow us to enjoy success and give us energy to meet new challenges. But negative emotions inspire us to make changes. Misery is perhaps the most creative force in our lives. Seldom do we make major changes in our lives without considerable emotional pain. Each negative emotion comes complete with an intuitive guide to action. Anger pushes us to stand up for ourselves and speak up when we've been treated with disrespect. Fear makes us hyper-vigilant to potential danger and readies us to duck or run away if needed. Sadness makes us review over and over again what we've lost. That ruminative search is for the knowledge to compensate for our loss and meaning and wisdom to understand our lives from a new perspective. Guilt reminds us of our responsibility in the errors we make and motivates us to work to understand our mistakes and learn how to avoid repeating them.</p>
<p>Therefore, ALL parts of us are as necessary to survival as any one. On an experiential basis, this requires a leap of faith. Strong negative emotion or even ambivalence is an uncomfortable condition. Our mind is known to create all sorts of convenient fictional explanations of motives and their behavioral manifestations in attempt to maintain an illusion of rationality. One such example is <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance" title="Cognitive dissonance" rel="wikipedia">cognitive dissonance</a>.</p>
<p>In order to make use of our incredibly effective brain, we must be aware of as many of it's manifestations as is possible. We must recognize and be able to put into words emotions as complex and varied as our thoughts. We must also accept the fact that our thoughts and emotions OFTEN contradict each other, but in a real and very personal sense, both are right. Both parts of the brain have learned their reactions over years of experience. Both points of view require consideration for a good decision about what must be done. Our rational mind can consider all options, develop all needed strategies, but when it comes to deciding what is best, what is most important and what is the right thing to do, our emotional side steps in to make the final call.</p>
<p>Cognitive learning is the most available for change. We think, therefore we do. If we change how we think, we change what we do. However, everyone knows from their last New Year's resolution that it's not that simple for the many behaviors we want to change. Changing emotional learning is much more difficult. Our emotional side learns by repetition or by another intense emotional experience. </p>
<p>To become truly self-aware, we must understand both parts of us, the rational and the largely hidden emotional part. Each part of us is just as needed as the other part. Once we embrace the notion that all feelings are necessary, we can search for their meaning and purpose. Then we harness them to motivate ourselves and we are pushed in the direction we need to go.</p>
<p>Next time you feel overwhelmed by vile emotions and thoughts, sit with them; make sense of them. Trace them to their origins; understand what they might mean for you today. Then, make a reasoned decision what should be done. As hard as it is to sit with a foul emotion, you will find it an amazingly creative force for change. </p>

<p><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2010/03/selfknowledge_emotional_intelligence_for_personal.php">Continued here...</a></p>

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                <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category">The Function of Emotion</category>
            
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            <pubDate>Sun, 17 Jan 2010 15:12:51 -0600</pubDate>
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            <title>Mindfulness - Emotional Intelligence for Personal Growth Part II</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p><em><br />
This is the second in a series of articles on emotional intelligence for personal growth. The first part is <a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2010/01/emotional_intelligence_for_personal_growth.php">here</a>.</em></p>

<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness_%28psychology%29">Mindfulness</a> is a non-judgmental, present-centered awareness in which each thought, feeling, or sensation that arises is acknowledged and accepted as it is. It is a skill that is learned by committed practice. The object is to focus one's attention on thoughts, feelings and events in the present moment while remaining curious, open, and accepting whatever occurs.  <br><br><img src="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/images/bell.jpq.jpg" width="300" align="right" alt="Mindfulness Bell" /> The idea is to take on the role of an observer of your own mind. Notice everything that happens without holding onto anything, having a "Teflon Mind". An important part of observing is putting words to the experience. The effect of naming the experience effectively separates you from it. Thoughts are just thoughts, feelings just feelings, all transient experiences that are not necessarily a part of or define who we are.  <br><br> True mindfulness involves immersing yourself in your experiences so that you actually forget yourself. The idea here is to stop the conversation you have with yourself, or as <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_religion" title="Eastern religion" rel="wikipedia">Eastern traditions</a> put it, letting go of <em>ego</em>. This internal dialogue, while an important skill in the right circumstances, can become a major distraction. Imagine yourself walking through a beautiful park muttering to yourself. Would you remember what you saw in the park? You'd probably remember more about what you were muttering to yourself!  <br><br> One way to do this is to focus on what is at hand. "See the job, do the job." The idea is NOT to always stay busy,  ut to invest all of yourself in everything you do. "Smell the roses." Another thing to watch while doing things judging if this should have happened or whether it's fair, just, or right or wrong. It <em>IS</em>, the only value in questioning why is avoiding a problem in the future. Anything more than that is a waste time and emotional energy. See what you are doing, but don't evaluate it. Focus on the facts without evaluating it. Count on your intuitive self to react appropriately, changing the harmful situation or changing your harmful reaction to the situation.  <br><br> Another distraction to your experiences is multi-tasking. Doing more than one thing at a time spreads your skills thin so that your product becomes sub-optimal, perhaps even mediocre. If you multi-task regularly, you actually train yourself to be easily distracted. There is some research that suggests that this subtle distraction training contributes significantly to attention deficits that impair your concentration. Research also suggests that training persons with <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention-deficit_hyperactivity_disorder" title="Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder" rel="wikipedia">Attention Deficit Disorder</a> with mindfulness techniques can be an effective treatment! <br><br> The idea is to keep your mind's eye on the objectives until the task is done having faith that you will do the best job your can and react appropriately should something go wrong. Think about it, if you are preoccupied with what might go wrong while doing something, will your focus be on the job or the fear of what might happen? If you are distracted by fear, how good a job can you do? <br><br> Most of us, when not structured and focused on a task at hand, are thinking about past and future events. We either review previous experiences looking for new learnings we might have missed or planning our reactions to anticipated events. We focus on the moment only when there is something immediately presenting that requires a response. Our focus is often divided between what is happening in the moment and the thoughts on which we are focused.   <br><br> For those of us that have more than our share of regrets and/or worries, being focused on the past or the future becomes a nearly full time job! This is not good. Without your full participation in the moment you are in, you are distracted, your reactions are primed with the emotions of the worry or regret. That means your judgment and decision making ability is impaired by emotionally distorted judgments! Have you ever been startled by someone while preoccupied with regrets or worries? Did you react with an emotion not meant for the other person? Most people have had that experience. It is likely we have all experienced spilling our internal emotion on an unintended other. And if that person was paying attention, he or she probably noticed your emotion and wondered if you were upset with them! <br><br> Few of us have the ability to be focused on the moment at will. It is a skill that takes a lot practice and a commitment to follow through. The eventual reward is an incredible feeling of peacefulness, acceptance, and centeredness combined with heightened concentration. You see, a mind uncluttered by regrets or worries has only the moment to focus on. Self-consciousness dissolves into the experience of the moment. Instead our focus is on our senses, our perceptions, punctuated by the thoughts and feelings flowing through our minds. The ultimate state of mindfulness is what is called <em>flow</em>. <br><br> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%3Ci%3Eflow%3C/i%3E_%28psychology%29"><em>Flow</em></a> is the state in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing with a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and an expectation of success. <em>Flow</em> could be conceived of as being completely focused and motivated in a single-minded immersion. Emotions and thoughts are synchronized in the service of performing and learning. In <em><em>flow</em></em>, the emotions are not just contained and channeled, but positive, energized, and aligned with the task at hand. While in <em><em>flow</em></em>, we feel a clear sense of direction, confidence, intense concentration, and personal control. We feel a natural and continuous intrinsic reward. Time seems altered, slowed or moving quickly. Feedback for one's actions and focused redirection come easily and painlessly so that action and awareness seem to merge. <br><br> One does not have to reach the ultimate form of mindfulness to benefit. With each strengthening of the skill comes with incredible benefits in quality of life. There are many tools available to us that will help us learn. Check out the resources <a href="https://epsyq.com/fullimpactliving/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=67&Itemid=62">here</a>.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2010/01/selfawareness_emotional_intelligence_for_personal.php">Continued here.</a><br />
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            <pubDate>Thu, 14 Jan 2010 21:39:27 -0600</pubDate>
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            <title>Emotional Intelligence for Personal Growth Part I</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p><i>This is the first in a series of articles on the topic of <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence" title="Emotional intelligence" rel="wikipedia">emotional intelligence</a> for <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_development" title="Personal development" rel="wikipedia">personal growth</a>. </i></p>
<p>I got this quote in one of those anonymous emails that has been forwarded through thousands of inboxes all over the planet:</p>
<blockquote><em>Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting '..holy sh*t ....what a ride!' Enjoy the ride. There is no return ticket.</em></blockquote>
<div class="zemanta-img mt-image-right" style="margin: 1em; display: block; float: right; width: 310px;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Wisdom-Reid-Highsmith.jpeg"><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f6/Wisdom-Reid-Highsmith.jpeg/300px-Wisdom-Reid-Highsmith.jpeg" alt="Wisdom, mural by Robert Lewis Reid. Second Flo..." height="307" width="300"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image via <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Wisdom-Reid-Highsmith.jpeg">Wikipedia</a></p></div>
<p>I had heard something like this decades ago and remember that it had a profound effect on me. It was one of those "Aha!" moments we all have from time to time. I had always been a cautious man and taken great pains to avoid unnecessary risks on my way to building a career.</p>
<p>While this new perspective didn't change a lot about what I did, it did change how I thought of myself. I had been holding myself back, reviewing everything I was about to say or do before I considered acting. I'd also review everything I had done over and over again hoping to pull one more insight from each act in my past. It was exhausting! I was focused totally on the past and the future and I was often miserable with self-imposed anxiety. And my life was passing me by. I experienced a shortage of joy. My only fun was in many escapist activities I engaged in, luckily none were particularly self-destructive. My life had become driven by regret, worry and escape. This little saying made me acutely aware that I was living life all wrong. I was totally focused on going somewhere and never stopping to enjoy where I was. It took a number of years to figure out just what I had to do to change things. New understanding of this task still comes to me every day.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.fullimpactliving.com">"Full Impact Living℠"</a> is what I call my life philosophy. It's a set of key concepts that I have developed over the more than thirty years I've practiced as a psychotherapist and manager of mental health programs and applying those concepts to my own life.</p>
<p>The term "full impact" is borrowed from the concept of full impact aerobics or karate. Life is not something that should be lived in a restricted and totally safe manner. Life is designed to be spent liberally until you are done. You can't take any savings through over-done caution with you or will it to your children. Life can involve going for the gusto in a way beer could never do for you. Full Impact Living℠ is about living life with passion, relishing the entire experience from beginning to end, the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.</p>
<p>Each concept of Full Impact Living℠ builds on the previous one in a step by step developmental process. We all travel through these steps many times in our lives. But without our awareness and proactive participation, the full benefit of the process can never be realized. Each skill builds on the other. Each new mastery of knowledge feeds the basic skills with new forms of awareness and the process of further development begins anew.</p>
<p><a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness" title="Mindfulness" rel="wikipedia">Mindfulness</a> is the basic skill. Awareness of the flow of thoughts and feelings through ones mind is critical to self-awareness. Careful observation of one's internal awareness matched with observing the environment and one's behavior leads to self-knowledge. Self-knowledge applied to life's challenges leads to experience and wisdom. The wisdom of experience allows one to build meaning for one's life that manifests in a focus on creating one's legacy based on one's basic values. Balance ensures that every manifestations of one's life receives its due investment of time, effort and focus. Then each new insight is fed back into the learning process by mindful awareness.</p>
<p>Continued <a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2010/01/mindfulness_emotional_intelligence_for_personal_gr.php">here.</a></p><p></p>

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                <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category">The Function of Emotion</category>
            
                <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category">Wellness</category>
            
            
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            <pubDate>Sat, 09 Jan 2010 19:52:36 -0600</pubDate>
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            <title>Poll Reveals Depth and Trauma of Joblessness</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p>Very sad and difficult times for people in this economy. Those who are still working are waiting for the next lay-off notice. Small businesses are struggling to make ends meet. Worse yet the unemployed are at their wits end. Virtually everyone I see in my practice these days are seeking treatment directly or indirectly because of the economy. </p>

<p>Another hidden part of the drama is that the unemployment rate no longer includes those whose unemployment insurance has lapsed and they no longer register at the unemployment office as looking for work. Some reports say another 400,000 have stopped looking for work. 15.7 million Americans are out of work. The number is expected to rise until mid-2010 to 11 percent or about another 1.5 million.</p>

<div class="zemanta-img mt-image-right" style="margin: 1em; display: block; float: right; width: 310px;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:USA_2008_unemployment_by_county.svg"><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/83/USA_2008_unemployment_by_county.svg/300px-USA_2008_unemployment_by_county.svg.png" alt="U.S. map with counties labeled by FIPS code ac..." height="190" width="300"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image via <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:USA_2008_unemployment_by_county.svg">Wikipedia</a></p></div>I include an excerpt from an article from <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34428644/ns/business-the_new_york_times/">The New York Times</a>. There are more articles linked below.

<blockquote>More than half of the nation's unemployed workers have borrowed money from friends or relatives since losing their jobs. An equal number have cut back on doctor visits or medical treatments because they are out of work.

<p>Almost half have suffered from depression or anxiety . About 4 in 10 parents have noticed behavioral changes in their children that they attribute to their difficulties in finding work.</p>

<p>Joblessness has wreaked financial and emotional havoc on the lives of many of those out of work, according to a New York Times/CBS News poll of unemployed adults, causing major life changes, <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_health" title="Mental health" rel="wikipedia">mental</a> health issues and trouble maintaining even basic necessities. </p>

<p>[..]Roughly half of the respondents described the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recession" title="Recession" rel="wikipedia">recession</a> as a hardship that had caused fundamental changes in their lives. Generally, those who have been out of work longer reported experiencing more acute financial and emotional effects.</p>

<p>[..]With <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unemployment" title="Unemployment" rel="wikipedia">unemployment</a> driving foreclosures nationwide, a quarter of those polled said they had either lost their home or been threatened with foreclosure or eviction for not paying their mortgage or rent. About a quarter, ...have received food stamps. More than half said they had cut back on both luxuries and necessities in their spending. Seven in 10 rated their family's financial situation as fairly bad or very bad.</p>

<p>But the impact on their lives was not limited to the difficulty in paying bills. Almost half said unemployment had led to more conflicts or arguments with family members and friends; 55 percent have suffered from insomnia . </p>

<p>[..]Nearly half of the adults surveyed admitted to feeling embarrassed or ashamed most of the time or sometimes as a result of being out of work. Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the traditional image of men as breadwinners, men were significantly more likely than women to report feeling ashamed most of the time.</p>

<p>There was a pervasive sense from the poll that the American dream had been upended for many. Nearly half of those polled said they felt in danger of falling out of their social class, with those out of work six months or more feeling especially vulnerable. <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_class" title="Working class" rel="wikipedia">Working-class</a> respondents felt at risk in the greatest numbers.</p>

<p>Nearly half of respondents said they did not have health <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_insurance" title="Health insurance" rel="wikipedia">insurance</a> , with the vast majority citing job loss as a reason, a notable finding given the tug of war in Congress over a <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_care" title="Health care" rel="wikipedia">health care</a> overhaul. The poll offered a glimpse of the potential ripple effect of having no coverage. More than half characterized the cost of basic medical care as a hardship.</p>

<p>Many in the ranks of the unemployed appear to be rethinking their career and life choices. Just over 40 percent said they had moved or considered moving to another part of the state or country where there were more jobs. More than two-thirds of respondents had considered changing their career or field, and 44 percent of those surveyed had pursued job retraining or other educational opportunities. </p>

<p>[..]The poll also shed light on the formal and informal safety nets that the jobless have relied upon. More than half said they were receiving or had received unemployment benefits. But 61 percent of those receiving benefits said the amount was not enough to cover basic necessities.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, a fifth said they had received food from a <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-profit_organization" title="Non-profit organization" rel="wikipedia">nonprofit organization</a> or religious institution. Among those with a working spouse, half said their spouse had taken on additional hours or another job to help make ends meet.</p>

<p>Even those who have stayed employed have not escaped the recession's bite. According to a New York Times/CBS News nationwide poll conducted at the same time as the poll of unemployed adults, about 3 in 10 people said that in the past year, as a result of bad economic conditions, their pay had been cut.</p>

<p>In terms of casting blame for the high unemployment rate, 26 percent of unemployed adults cited former President George W. Bush ; 12 percent pointed the finger at banks; 8 percent highlighted jobs going overseas and the same number blamed politicians. Only 3 percent blamed President Obama .</p>

<p>Those out of work were split, however, on the president's handling of job creation, with 47 percent expressing approval and 44 percent disapproval.</p>

<p>Unemployed Americans are divided over what the future holds for the job market: 39 percent anticipate improvement, 36 percent expect it will stay the same, and 22 percent say it will get worse. </blockquote><fieldset class="zemanta-related"><legend class="zemanta-related-title">Related articles by Zemanta</legend><ul class="zemanta-article-ul"><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://r.zemanta.com/?u=http%3A//bucks.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/15/answers-about-cobra-benefits-and-subsidies-part-1/%3Fpartner%3Drss%26amp%3Bemc%3Drss&amp;a=10468775&amp;rid=b081c312-7211-4e59-ab11-121323232c15&amp;e=c1adff0b6dbd223b584192780cd9781d">Answers About Cobra Benefits and Subsidies: Part 1</a> (bucks.blogs.nytimes.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://r.zemanta.com/?u=http%3A//www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34428644/ns/business-the_new_york_times/&amp;a=10458521&amp;rid=b081c312-7211-4e59-ab11-121323232c15&amp;e=f53e13bf9c6b8cd664cfa70641b72f35">NYT: Poll reveals depth and trauma of joblessness</a> (msnbc.msn.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.thestar.com/business/article/730395--mental-illness-taking-massive-toll-on-economy">Mental illness taking massive toll on economy</a> (thestar.com)</li></ul></fieldset></p>

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                <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category">Mental Health In The News</category>
            
            
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            <pubDate>Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:37:36 -0600</pubDate>
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            <title>Regina Brett, 90 years young</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p><br />
This was written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.<br />
<div class="zemanta-img mt-image-right" style="margin: 1em; display: block; float: right;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/26476017@N03/4116722745/"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2512/4116722745_446a7dfc14_m.jpg" alt="tree hands"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/26476017@N03/4116722745/">patricia.mg</a> via Flickr</p></div><br />
        <br />
         <blockquote>"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It<br />
         is the most-requested column I've ever written.<br />
        <br />
         My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:<br />
        <br />
         1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.<br />
        <br />
         2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.<br />
        <br />
         3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.<br />
        <br />
         4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends and<br />
         parents will. Stay in touch.<br />
        <br />
         5. Pay off your credit cards every month.<br />
        <br />
         6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.<br />
        <br />
         7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.<br />
        <br />
         8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.<br />
        <br />
         9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.<br />
        <br />
         10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.<br />
        <br />
         11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.<br />
        <br />
         12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.<br />
        <br />
         13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey<br />
         is all about.<br />
        <br />
         14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.<br />
        <br />
         15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God<br />
          never blinks.<br />
        <br />
         16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.<br />
        <br />
         17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.<br />
        <br />
         18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.<br />
        <br />
         19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is<br />
          up to you and no one else ..<br />
        <br />
         20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an<br />
         answer.<br />
        <br />
         21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don't<br />
         save it for a special occasion. Today is special.<br />
        <br />
         22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.<br />
        <br />
         23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.<br />
        <br />
         24. The most important sex organ is the brain.<br />
        <br />
         25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.<br />
        <br />
         26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, 'In five years will<br />
         this matter?'<br />
        <br />
         27. Always choose life.<br />
        <br />
         28. Forgive everyone for everything.<br />
        <br />
         29. What other people think of you is none of your business.<br />
        <br />
         30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.<br />
        <br />
         31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.<br />
        <br />
         32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.<br />
        <br />
         33. Believe in miracles.<br />
        <br />
         34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you<br />
         did or didn't do.<br />
        <br />
         35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.<br />
        <br />
         36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.<br />
        <br />
         37. Your children get only one childhood.<br />
        <br />
         38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.<br />
        <br />
         39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.<br />
        <br />
         40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd<br />
         grab ours back.<br />
        <br />
         41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.<br />
        <br />
         42. The best is yet to come....<br />
        <br />
         43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.<br />
        <br />
         44. Yield.<br />
        <br />
         45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."</blockquote></p>]]></description>
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                <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category">Mental Health and Aging</category>
            
            
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                <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Regina Brett</category>
            
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            <pubDate>Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:03:14 -0600</pubDate>
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        <item>
            <title>Barriers, Behaviors, Sub-cultures and the Homeless Population</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p>I really enjoy reading the blog <a href="http://www.Kellevision.com">Kellevision.com</a>. She says it like it is and seldom misses the point of what she's writing about. She identifies a problem in <a href="http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/10/barriers-vs-behaviors.html">programming for homelessness</a> and proposes a <a href="http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/10/the-secret-to-ending-homelessness-in-america.html">set of concepts</a> to help clarify the situation.</p>

<div class="zemanta-img mt-image-right" style="margin: 1em; display: block; float: right; width: 310px;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Homeless_Woman.jpg"><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/05/Homeless_Woman.jpg/300px-Homeless_Woman.jpg" alt="Homeless woman in Nice, France." height="200" width="300"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image via <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Homeless_Woman.jpg">Wikipedia</a></p></div>
<blockquote>Many of the "barriers" faced by the chronically homeless are not external. They are self-inflicted.  Repeatedly failing to pay one's utility bills is not a barrier. It is a behavior.  Repeatedly getting into relationships with <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug_addiction" title="Drug addiction" rel="wikipedia">drug addicts</a> and being evicted because you have allowed your new girlfriend to turn your affordable housing into a crack house is not a barrier.  It is a behavior.  Choosing to pay your boyfriend's bail instead of the rent is not a barrier, it is a behavior. Consistently refusing to hold down steady employment and being evicted for not being able to pay the rent is not a barrier, it is a behavior.

<p>[..]Lastly, how we label the problem determines how we approach solving it.  True social barriers need to be addressed by <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_work" title="Social work" rel="wikipedia">social services</a>.  Better programs need to be designed to specifically address the needs of the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_disorder" title="Mental disorder" rel="wikipedia">mentally ill</a> population.  Programs designed to assist the medically disabled need to be accessed.  But behaviors require a clinical intervention - therapy.  Clients who demonstrate patterns of behavior which result in repeated instances of <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homelessness" title="Homelessness" rel="wikipedia">homelessness</a> need counseling, not social services.  The problem is not a <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_issues" title="Social issues" rel="wikipedia">social problem</a>.  It is an individual problem which requires an individual intervention.</blockquote></p>

<p>I think it's much more complicated than that. Our world has always had an underclass, a group of individuals who have been largely invisible in the US except during the Depression. These people largely function outside the visible society and economy. They share housing with family and friends, squat in abandoned buildings, and sometimes live under bridges. They live off their housemates or family, work for temp job agencies, borrow, steal, deal drugs, and even engage in formal criminal enterprise. Given our recent policies that have reversed the tax-based redistribution of wealth since FDR, the stagnant wages, disappearing jobs, and ever increasing cost of living, that underclass has become so large it is again visible. </p>

<p>They are chronically under or unemployment and are not collecting Social Security, either because they don't qualify, try though they may to apply, or they haven't the where-with-all to get themselves qualified. This chronic underclass is best described as a sub-culture. They are structurally built into the economy. "Full employment" doesn't include them. Because they have given up on finding work, they no longer register with unemployment offices and so are not counted among the unemployed. Those who are chronically homeless are a sub-group of this sub-culture, and probably represents some of its most dysfunctional members. </p>

<p>By describing the chronically homeless, Kellevision describes most of the common attributes of this subculture. </p>

<blockquote>For the majority of the [chronically] homeless population, homelessness is a lifestyle, not  an event.

<p>[..]My purpose here is not to blame the victim, but to talk openly about the severe dysfunction I see in chronically homeless families.  Unless we identify the true problem, we will not be able to form a lucid solution.  Homeless families typically do not function well on any level.  Children are frequently truant from school and display numerous behavior and developmental problems.  Dorm rules are constantly broken and there is constant turmoil between the families on the dorm.  Relationships are fleeting, intense and severely dysfunctional including domestic violence, substance abuse and exploitative.  Interactions with other people are inappropriate or dysfunctional.  Most homeless families have burnt all their bridges with every social service agency and with their own families because of their severe dysfunction.  Shelter staff often feel like we are running a middle school rather than a homeless shelter.  This behavior is what needs to be addressed rather than giving them more money or building more homes. </p>

<p>[..]What are the elements of the homeless mindset?  I'm still trying to work this out in my mind, but here are some of them which I see frequently:</p>

<ul><li>An external locus of control</li>
          <ul><li>the belief that they have no control or responsibility for their choices, actions or behaviors but they are the victim of circumstances </li>
          <li>the belief that the causes for good or bad events in your life are totally outside your control or responsibility</li></ul>
    <li>Sense of entitlement</li>
    <ul><li>the belief that the worlds owes them something and they should be able to collect immediately</li>
          <li>the belief that they should be taken care of by others, by the government or by social service agencies</li>
          <li>the belief that they should be given things they have not earned (i.e. free housing, clothing, food, etc.)</li>
          <li>the belief that others should "help" them (i.e. by paying their unpaid bills or appealing their housing denial)</li></ul>
    <li>Impulsivity</li>
    <li>Poor boundaries</li>
    <li>Emotional immaturity</li>
    <li>Need for instant gratification</li>
    <li>Dependency issues</li>
    <li>Predatory/antisocial behaviors</li>
    <li>Pathological relationships</li></ul></blockquote>

<p>Certainly, not every member of what I'll call the "underclass sub-culture" share all of these attributes. Each and every person has a story behind their situation. A careful account of their histories, something they usually reluctantly give, chronicles the development of these problems. It's important to discourage a prejudice developing against a whole group of people who are already stigmatized along with the "welfare mother" of the AFDC era. But we are not going to get to a more complete solution without understanding the problem. I suspect that why there is little commentary on this topic. </p>

<p>Kellevision hits on what I believe to be one of the most common roots of dysfunction, repeated traumas throughout their life.</p>

<blockquote>A vast majority of our clients seem to have endured some sort of trauma(s) during their childhood which has(have) halted their emotional development.  The result is immaturity, impulsivity, dependency, a sense of entitlement (that someone should take care of them rather than being responsible for themselves), an external locus of control (seeing problems as existing outside of themselves and therefore being outside of their control and/or responsibility), immature relationships and emotional lability.  These factors result in behavior which appears erratic and irresponsible.</blockquote>

<p>"Arrested development" is what Kellevision calls it. Indeed, this problem is pervasive and most often multi-generational. There are most often one or more of the following in the family history: <br />
<ul><br />
	<li>lifelong repeated exposure to trauma:<br />
	<ul>	<br />
		<li>child abuse and neglect</li><br />
		<li>incest</li><br />
		<li>domestic assault</li><br />
		<li>gang or drug related violence</li><br />
		<li>repeated exposure as a crime victim including assault, rape, and drive by shootings</li><br />
		<li>inconsistent parenting ranging from abusive to no supervision</li><br />
		<li>one or more family member who was murdered</li><br />
	</ul><br />
	</li><li>poor performance/attendance at school</li><br />
	<li>high school drop-out</li><br />
	<li>parenthood started by mid-teens</li><br />
	<li>by their twenties, they have several kids with mostly different partners</li><br />
	<li>sporadic work history and chronic unemployment</li><br />
	<li>efforts to qualify for Social Security</li><br />
	<li>family members relying on other families income, so no family member is able to break the pattern of poverty</li><br />
	<li>chemical abuse</li><br />
	<li>drug dealing to support a habit</li><br />
	<li>mental illness</li><br />
	<li>parents, spouses, brothers, sisters in prison</li><br />
	<li>criminal activity as income</li><br />
	<li>crime as a family enterprise</li><br />
</ul></p>

<p>Persons who are members of the underclass see dysfunction as normal. They've never known any different. Many think this is how everyone lives. While they may dream of a good job, they appear to not have the self-discipline to keep a good job. Many of this group might be diagnosed with an anti-social personality DO. Personally, I think this diagnosis is misleading at best. A person earns this diagnosis if their history includes sufficient "anti-social" behavior. This doesn't account for family cultures that teach a confusing mix of conventional and anti-social values. Thus we have neighborhoods that have no constructive relationships with police, believe that justice is against them and label anyone reporting a crime as an informant and not to be trusted. This of course contributes to the chaos in the neighborhood.</p>

<p>In my experience people who get diagnosed anti-social are the ones the clinician don't trust or believe. The whole underclass culture tries to keep their business to themselves. Lying to protect one's family's reputation is encouraged. I suspect while there may be a few classic psychopaths out there, most of those folks who populate our jails are drug abusing, impulsive, underclass members with shut down emotional systems due to repeated chaos and trauma. These folks won't tell you the truth unless they are desperate and already feel they are the lowest of the low. Their judgment is so impaired that they see fear as a weakness they must squelch out. Danger in their world is everywhere and it must be faced, not avoided. </p>

<p>I have worked with some persons of the underclass who have a clinical presentation of PTSD after many years of participation in gang violence. They know what conventional values are, but they also know what is the law of streets. They are scared and tired of living a nightmare, and want a stable peaceful life but are tortured about what they've seen and what they've done to others over the years. Just seeing a gun sets off flashbacks. They describe their younger years as being "shut off" emotionally, and "not caring" about anyone or anything but money. But now in my office, they are presenting a mostly full range of emotion and a guilty conscience that suggests conventional values. Has their impulsive, "immature brain", associated with anti-social acts, matured into a more conventional pattern? Or is it more accurate to describe them as a product of an anti-social sub-culture? I suspect the latter is more accurate.</p>

<p>Returning to the homeless and Kellevision, she notes the major problem with relationships is homeless people's "picker is broken".</p>

<blockquote>For every person in a homeless shelter with dependency issues we seem to have an predator waiting for them.  Half the population seems to be working or receiving some form of assistance and the other half seem to be trying to hook up with them to take advantage of that income.... 

<p>It is important to realize that single parents contribute to the problem of picking the wrong partner with their own pathology.  The single mothers in the family dorm are not simply victims of the men they pick out.  There seems to be a predominant attitude of these women that the man should "take care of them".  They believe it is just a matter of picking out the right one.  The first problem is that their "picker" is broken.  They do not pick out a good one.  They usually pick out one of the predators roaming the alley behind the shelter.  The second problem is that you cannot sit at home expecting to be taken care of in our modern economy.  That might have worked in the 1950's, even in the 1970's, but June Cleaver is no more.  The modern American household takes two paychecks.  Two full-time paychecks.  The third problem presents it self when the man expects to be supported by the woman.  Even if the woman is working full-time and picks out a man who wants to live off of her, women traditionally earn much lower wages than men.  So the family's financial stability is even more shaky.</p>

<p>This predatory - dependent dyad seems to play out in most of their relationships and I wonder if it is not the source of their alienation from their families of origin.  A person who constantly expects to be taken care of can be quite tiring.  By contrast, a person who is constantly preying on others also becomes quite tiring.  </blockquote></p>

<p>Having grown up in a chaotic home and living a chaotic lifestyle, repeated trauma has numbed their emotions to the point that they are unable to make proper judgments about who is worthy of trust. The predator-prey dyad began in their family of origin where parents exploited the children when they were young, and when the children grow up, they exploit their vulnerable elderly parents. Recently, in my therapy group, one male member admonished a older woman for setting limits with her adult children because they were tacitly supporting her grandchildren for default on a loan she'd co-signed. He felt family was entitled to lean on, effectively use, each other.</p>

<blockquote>Mental illness is often cited as a factor in homelessness.  A significant number of homeless clients suffer from debilitating mental illnesses and many researchers sight the high numbers of mental illness in the population.  However, each researcher seems to define it in their own way.  Some include only the big three Axis I diagnoses (Schizophrenia, Bipolar I  and Major Depression).  Others include substance abuse (since it is an Axis I diagnosis in the DSM IV) which dramatically inflates the numbers of the "mentally ill".  Others include Axis II personality disorders, but only some of them, usually Antisocial Personality Disorder.   Still others include Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  In my experience, mental illness is a factor in about 10-20% of our homelessness clients and it is a serious problem.  However, it does not explain the other 80%.  These 80% use an unusually high percentage of services and monies devoted to the homeless and they are repeat customers. </blockquote>

<p>Here I have to disagree with Kellevision.  Everyone I've counseled with substance abuse were running from their feelings about themselves and/or their past. I have found Bipolar DO in significant numbers behind petty criminal activity, gambling addiction, alcoholism, sexual addiction, exotic dancing and prostitution. I participated in a local county survey that identified their most expensive clients. The general profile was bipolar chemically abusive who revolved in and out of the hospital, placements and jail. Personality disorders are mental illness. While many may think the rest of the world is the problem and are not willing to take responsibility, many others are desperate for relief from a horribly chaotic and often traumatic life. </p>

<blockquote>There is a very high incidence of traumatic histories in the homeless community, even before they became homeless, usually during childhood.  I believe that a majority of the substance abuse problem in this population is an effort to treat trauma symptoms.  However, this can be said of other populations as well, including the substance abuse community.  Most trauma survivors manage to maintain housing despite their trauma symptoms.   Though trauma symptoms may play a factor in homelessness, I do not believe they are the sole cause. </blockquote>

<p>Sole cause, no, it's the multi-generational underclass sub-culture with it's accompanied fractured families, drug abuse, trauma, predator/prey cycle, and chaotic lifestyles. Trauma comes in forms that are not readily identified. Chaotic events in close proximity in time give the victim the impression they have no control of their fate and so they scramble for every edge in the moment, and anxiously await for the next disaster to strike. Those in the underclass go way out of their way to withhold their histories of trauma and chaos, insisting that they can handle their own problems, and it's none of anyone's business. Or is this simply the accepted cultural method to deal with the shame of their past?</p>

<blockquote>Most homeless clients do not have family support systems.  If they did, the family would take them in and they would not be homeless.  Many homeless clients come from families who are themselves very nomadic and teetering on homelessness.  Some come from families rife with substance abuse, sexual abuse or domestic violence.   Others have been rejected by their families for various reasons.  These reasons often involve their dependent and/or dysfunctional behaviors. </blockquote>

<p>Underclass families exploit each other until the resources are gone, or the member with resources cut off the leech. Once the underclass has used up their family resources, they become at risk for homelessness. Many have family who died young living violent or drug infested lifestyles, or who are in prison. By this time, they've burned out most of their friends as well. All they can do and meet new vulnerable people and continue a new predictor/prey dynamic. </p>

<p>So what solutions are there for healing the cultural divide? The problem is mostly economic. The underclass lacks a realistic chance for escaping their plight. Oh, sure a few make it, usually through advanced education. But many will hit a ceiling in achievement when they rely too heavily on "temporary feel good" behavior that provides relief from stress, but self-destructively complicates their lives and increases the chances they will fall out of their newly found middle-class status. </p>

<p>The middle-class in America is shrinking, many of the hard working blue collar workers are falling into the underclass from where with a floundering economy, escape will be difficult. Jobs programs, affordable housing, and counseling are sorely needed but remains largely unfunded. What infrastructure is present is actually shrinking with government tax dollars. </p>

<p>Too often the only role models for success are the gang members, drug dealers or pimps who drive fancy cars and flash wads of money. Too many get lost in this dream turn nightmare. But my experiences working with recovering gang members is that many are retrievable when they get desperate enough to escape with the right kind of treatment and patience with their guarded presentations. I work in a Partial Hospital Program (PHP) at an inner city public hospital that is designed to intervene with persons with personality disorders. It's largely based on the Crisis Intervention model that relies on the desperation of the client to inspire commitment, insight and behavior change in therapy. The PHP format is ideal for persons who are suffering from acute exacerbation of substance abuse, PTSD or personality disorder. I call it "mental health boot camp". We have a satisfaction rate of over 90%.  </p>

<p>Kellevision lists a number of problems within the system.</p>

<blockquote>In my humble opinion, our current social services system and is a major factor contributing to the homeless mindset.  This is a complicated element to explain.  But I think it is important to make an attempt.  

<p>I see two major problems with the social services system:  1) the system itself - how benefits are applied and eligibility determined and 2) the people working within the system - the mindset of caseworkers and social workers working with the homeless population.  </blockquote></p>

<ul>
	<li>The social services system seems to be designed to punish attempts by the poor to achieve independence. Assistance programs penalize people for working "too much" by cutting off benefits when assets accrue. These systems often reinforce irresponsibility and impulsivity while punishing people who try to work and plan ahead.  </li>
	<li>Many social services programs seem to "teach" clients to wait until the last minute then create a dramatic "emergency" in order to get help.  This fosters the emotionally immature and histrionic displays in emergency rooms. </li>
	<li>Our current welfare system does not allow exchanging work for benefits.  Benefits are given away free.</li>
	<li>Caseworkers and social workers have a bad habit of doing things for clients, rather than expecting the client to do it or teaching them how.</li>
	<li>So what have clients learned so far?  
	<ul>
		<li>Don't work too much.</li>
		<li>Don't plan ahead.</li>
		<li>Expect someone else to provide you with what you need. </li> 
		<li>Don't take responsibility.  Someone else will fix it for you. </li> 
	</ul>
 </li></ul>

<p>The welfare system is complex, cumbersome, and difficult to change into a working entity. The major problem is that it is designed not to serve the poor, but to mollify the political needs of the tax payer. That makes it inherently punitive. As we know from behavioral science, punishment doesn't change behavior. I believe it in fact feeds the cycle similar to the one Kellevision describes above. As long as we put political considerations ahead of evidence-based methods, we'll have a broken system.</p>

<p>Kellevision proposes ideas that I think have significant merit.<br />
 <br />
<blockquote>I think counseling should be provided liberally.  Teach people how to fish.  Teach them how their maladaptive behaviors impair their ability to function.  Stop rewarding bad behavior.  Stop giving away money.  Stop cleaning up their messes for them.  Stop giving away free stuff. </p>

<p>Once homeless clients are assigned jobs, they would be provided with counseling to address the behavior problems that interfered with their ability to maintain employment.  If they failed to come to work due to a poor work ethic, substance abuse problems, domestic violence or other relationship issues, etc. instead of getting fired - again - and having another black mark on their work history, they would be required to participate in counseling or group work to address it. </blockquote></p>

<fieldset class="zemanta-related"><legend class="zemanta-related-title">Related articles by Zemanta</legend><ul class="zemanta-article-ul"><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/10/barriers-vs-behaviors.html">Barriers vs. Behaviors and the Homeless Population</a> (kellevision.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/10/the-secret-to-ending-homelessness-in-america.html">The Secret to Ending Homelessness in America</a> (kellevision.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/09/the-homeless-are-not-black.html">The Homeless are not Black</a> (kellevision.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://jezebel.com/5356572/some-people-just-dont-think-shes-homeless-enough">"Some People Just Don't Think She's Homeless Enough " [Absurdity]</a> (jezebel.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://austinist.com/2009/10/19/_the_downtown_chronic_homeless_seat.php">The Downtown Chronic Homeless: Seattle's Solution</a> (austinist.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://r.zemanta.com/?u=http%3A//www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20090922/homeless_090922/20090922%3Fhub%3DTopStories&amp;a=7867655&amp;rid=899a47fd-232f-4870-96d9-fd76c999ef3e&amp;e=ec4efb17a51508ef6a5e228c598de36d">B.C. homeless law would hurt most vulnerable: critics</a> (ctv.ca)</li></ul></fieldset>

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            <link>http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2009/10/barriers_behaviors_subcultures_and_the_homeless_po.php</link>
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            <pubDate>Wed, 21 Oct 2009 07:12:07 -0600</pubDate>
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        <item>
            <title>Sandra Bullock Sick of Society&apos;s Rules, Has Message For Little Girls</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p><a class="zem_slink" href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000113/" title="Sandra Bullock" rel="imdb">Sandra Bullock</a> makes some very solid points about the continued <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_standard" title="Double standard" rel="wikipedia">double moral standard</a> between men and women in our society. It is only by repeated public statements will the culture begin to shift. </p>

<p>However, she missed the universal point. I don't think a young boy would escape the slash of verbal harassment about having a lisp. While there is a natural push for social culture to demand a certain level of conformity, children do not understand the limits of this wisdom or can reason through the paradox of conformity for the sake of conformity. [<a class="zem_slink" href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075584/" title="Soap (TV series)" rel="imdb">Soap</a> box time] Children need the leadership of adults in social settings, primarily schools, to learn tolerance and the dangers of scapegoating. Adults continue to abdicate this role, parents pointing at schools, schools pointing at parents. During the critical times of <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elementary_school" title="Elementary school" rel="wikipedia">elementary school</a>, teachers have the major role, there can be no doubt. Parents seldom see their kids in a group, and currently other parents do not reliably tolerate their friends parents intervening with their own children. That too needs to change, but it won't until neighbors can actually recognize each other and learn how far they can trust each other. </p>

<p>Our natural process of social education has broken down. We now know enough to create a scientifically based social/emotional education curriculum. It's time to act. </p>

<p><a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,564301,00.html?test=faces">FOXNews.com</a><br />
<div class="zemanta-img mt-image-right" style="margin: 1em; display: block; float: right; width: 132px;"><a href="http://www.daylife.com/image/04ZO3uk0YIbDN?utm_source=zemanta&amp;utm_medium=p&amp;utm_content=04ZO3uk0YIbDN&amp;utm_campaign=z1"><img src="http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/04ZO3uk0YIbDN/122x150.jpg" alt="WASHINGTON - MAY 01:  Actress Sandra Bullock l..." height="150" width="122"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image by <a href="http://www.daylife.com/source/Getty_Images">Getty Images</a> via <a href="http://www.daylife.com">Daylife</a></p></div><br />
<blockquote>"Why is that young boys and men are unique and eccentric and mavericks when they're different but women are 'odd' when we are eccentric or different? Would I have wished someone would have said to me when I was 12 or eight when I had my <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speech_disorder" title="Speech disorder" rel="wikipedia">speech impediment</a>? Uniqueness is something my mother pounded it into me," Bullock recently told Tarts. "She said be unique and I didn't understand it then, now I look at it and I go I wouldn't want to be like anyone else and I know I'm off. I had a lisp as a child, it's all these things that made me different and I tried to squelch and then once I realized I had squelched them I didn't feel like myself anymore."</p>

<p>Bullock is so upset with the unwritten rules and regulations in today's world she wants to spread a strong message to young girls.</p>

<p>"Don't change, be who you are. Society is really strong in their opinions so I made peace with the fact that the things I thought were weaknesses or flaws were just me," she added. "Why are we forcing people to follow another person's path in life taking away their real happiness? What is about us that is a culture that tries to get rid of what we consider the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runt" title="Runt" rel="wikipedia">runt</a>? Sometimes the runt turns out to be the best of the litter."</blockquote></p>

<fieldset class="zemanta-related"><legend class="zemanta-related-title">Related articles by Zemanta</legend><ul class="zemanta-article-ul"><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.inquisitr.com/35429/sandra-bullock-wishes-she-had-embraced-her-lisp/">Sandra Bullock wishes she had embraced her lisp</a> (inquisitr.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2005/11/managing_the_emotional_rollerc.php">Managing the Emotional Rollercoaster of Adulthood</a> (dare-to-dream.us)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2006/03/ten_discipline_mistakes_parent.php">Ten Discipline Mistakes Parents Make</a> (dare-to-dream.us)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/10/mindfulness-childhood-trauma-and-cleopatras.html">Mindfulness, Childhood Trauma and Denial</a> (kellevision.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2007/02/the_power_and_peril_of_praising_your_kids.php">The Power (and Peril) of Praising Your Kids</a> (dare-to-dream.us)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2005/05/this_is_your_brain_on_motherho.php">This Is Your Brain on Motherhood</a> (dare-to-dream.us)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/10/how-rewards-can-backfire-and-reduce-motivation.php">How Rewards Can Backfire and Reduce Motivation</a> (spring.org.uk)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/07/the_bigger_the_ego_the_harder_the_fall_-_how_self-awareness.php">The bigger the ego, the harder the fall - how self-awareness buffers against social rejection [Not Exactly Rocket Science]</a> (scienceblogs.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/09/power-over-other-people-in-relationships.html">Power in Relationships and the Scapegoat Role</a> (kellevision.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/09/just-feel-your-feelings.html">Just Feel Your Feelings</a> (kellevision.com)</li></ul></fieldset>

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            <link>http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2009/10/sandra_bullock_sick_of_societys_rules_has_message.php</link>
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            <pubDate>Thu, 15 Oct 2009 10:50:22 -0600</pubDate>
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        <item>
            <title>Did A &quot;Self-help&quot; Course Lead to Woman&apos;s Suicide?</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/10/11/world/AP-AS-The-Turning-Point-ABRIDGED.html?_r=1&amp;pagewanted=all">Tonight the New York Times</a> reported on very sad story about an <a class="zem_slink" href="http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=-35.3,149.133333333&amp;spn=10.0,10.0&amp;q=-35.3,149.133333333%20%28Australia%29&amp;t=h" title="Australia" rel="geolocation">Australian</a> woman who went to a self-help course called Turning Point with her husband in hopes of improving their marriage. Over the next few days, according to her husband, her behavior became increasingly strange until without warning, she jumped out of her office window and successfully committed <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide" title="Suicide" rel="wikipedia">suicide</a> while stunned paramedics watched unable to move fast enough. <br />
<div class="zemanta-img mt-image-right" style="margin: 1em; display: block; float: right; width: 310px;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Pr_Charcot_DSC09405.jpg"><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/ef/Pr_Charcot_DSC09405.jpg/300px-Pr_Charcot_DSC09405.jpg" alt="Professor Charcot (left) of Paris' Salpêtrière..." height="454" width="300"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image via <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Pr_Charcot_DSC09405.jpg">Wikipedia</a></p></div><br />
According to the article, the Turning Point program by <a href="http://www.peopleknowhow.com.au/">People Knowhow</a> run by unlicensed staff and includes group induction of <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnosis" title="Hypnosis" rel="wikipedia">hypnosis</a> and/or regression where persons in the audience are encouraged to imagine themselves as children and encouraged to re-experience trauma. </p>

<p>Hypnosis and regression are powerful therapeutic techniques I have come to respect. One of my training experiences included a demonstration of group hypnotic induction. Most in the audience were thoroughly amazed including myself because in no way did we cooperate with an induction. We didn't even know it happened until we went on break and became acutely aware of the change in perceptions in the beautiful atrium of the hotel. </p>

<p>After the break, the workshop leader told the story of the previous conference he taught when a woman in the class was found after the break psychotic and nearly incoherent. The leader had to suspend the conference while the woman was hospitalized. Gradually, the reality of what happened dawned on me. The workshop leader, though highly regarded, was taking an unnecessary risk with conference attendees. Although, such an extreme reaction may be rare, in my experience, the techniques are so powerful that it is necessary to screen participants in this sort of workshop. But according to an <a href="http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25918892-421,00.html">inquest now in progress in Sydney</a>, leaders had no relevant formal qualifications, the screening process to complete the course, and the support offered during and after the course as "woefully inadequate". </p>

<blockquote>A member of the volunteer support staff present during the five-day Turning Point program attended by Ms Lawrence told the inquest the course was like a "pressure cooker".</blockquote> 

<p>This program uses techniques that should be reserved for intensive treatment programs like the one where I work. We screen people with a complete diagnostic work up, and then work with them intensively six hours a day for 16 days. I have witnessed amazing progress in some people. But without a daily intensive setting with psychiatric staff readily available, I would never attempt this sort of work with people who are already unstable. While it may be true that most healthy people could benefit from this sort of fearless self-review, some people cannot readily integrate this sort of experience. </p>

<p>There have been three deaths associated with this program, the first <a href="http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,,25950156-5013404,00.html">18 years ago </a>in a group lead by the program's founder, Walter Belin. </p>

<p>These deaths were avoidable. </p>

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            <link>http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2009/10/did_selfhelp_course_lead_to_womans_suicide.php</link>
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            <pubDate>Sat, 10 Oct 2009 12:50:29 -0600</pubDate>
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        <item>
            <title>Be Afraid: TV is Our Childrens&apos; Nanny</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p>Many of the boomer adults were raised with a lot of TV. It would appear things have gotten worse. We know a lot more about what TV does to children, but it doesn't appear to have had much effect. Simple logic will tell us that the experience of TV will decrease a child's ability to tolerate a delay in gratification of desires. Certainly, the TV ads are designed to create the desire for things we didn't know we needed, a certain frustration that we can't have it all, now. But it's much worse than that.</p>

<div class="zemanta-img" style="margin: 1em; float: right; display: block;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Braun_HF_1.jpg"><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/ee/Braun_HF_1.jpg/202px-Braun_HF_1.jpg" alt="Braun HF 1, Germany, 1959" style="border: medium none ; display: block;"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution">Image via <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Braun_HF_1.jpg">Wikipedia</a> </p></div>

<p><a href="http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/09/27/the-debilitating-effects-of-tv-on-children/">John M Grohol PsyD </a>owner of PsychCentral.com is usually a man who politely understates things. But, he pulls no punches in a recent article.</p>

<blockquote>Most child psychologists and <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_development" title="Child development" rel="wikipedia">child development</a> experts recommend no TV whatsoever for a child before the age of 2 or 3. None. Yet a whopping 43 percent of parents plop their toddler down in front of the television set, apparently blind to the consequence of their actions.

<p>[..]There are also the studies that show that teens who watch more sexual content on TV are twice as likely to be involved in a pregnancy over the next three years than their peers. </p>

<p>[From the <a href="http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2009/09/27/silence_that_idiot_box/">Boston Globe</a>]</p>

<ul>Countless studies have documented the inverse link between devotion to the boob tube and achievement in school. Researchers at Columbia's College of Physicians and Surgeons concluded in 2007, for example, that 14-year-olds who watched one or more hours of television daily "were at elevated risk for poor homework completion, negative attitudes toward school, poor grades, and long-term academic failure.'' Those who watched three or more hours a day were at even greater risk for "subsequent attention and learning difficulties,'' and were the least likely to go to college.

<p>In 2005, a study published in the American Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine found that the harm caused by TV watching shows up even after correcting the data to account for students' intelligence, family conditions, and prior behavioral problems. The bottom line: "Increased time spent watching television during childhood and adolescence was associated with a lower level of educational attainment by early adulthood.''</p>

<p>The baleful effects of TV aren't limited to education. The University of Michigan Health System notes on its extensive website that kids who watch TV are more likely to smoke, to be overweight, to suffer from sleep difficulties, and to have high cholesterol. </ul></blockquote></p>

<p><br />
From <a href="http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2008/09/background-tv-disrupts-childrens-play.html">Research Digest Blog</a>, here is an excerpt from an article commenting on the effects of TV on in the background while a young child plays.<br />
<blockquote>Schmidt's team described the disruptive effects of the background <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television" title="Television" rel="wikipedia" class="zem_slink">TV</a> as "real but small". While the current study doesn't say anything about the possible developmental consequences of TV-disrupted play, previous research has shown that shorter play episodes and less focused attention tend to be associated with poorer developmental outcomes. Moreover, a previous unpublished study by the present team of researchers showed that background TV reduces how often parents interact with their children. "Taken together," the researchers said, the new and previous findings lead us to "hypothesise that background television, as a chronic influence, is by itself an environmental <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Risk_factor" title="Risk factor" rel="wikipedia" class="zem_slink">risk factor</a> in children's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_development" title="Child development" rel="wikipedia" class="zem_slink">development</a>."<br />
</blockquote></p>

<p>According to these articles, <a href="http://www.iob.org/userfiles/File/1260.pdf">Visual voodoo: the biological impact of watching TV</a>and<a href="http://www.thepsychologist.org.uk/publications/thepsychologist/extras/pages$/2007/does-tv-harm-young-children.cfm">The Psychologist</a>, TV is a cause for attention deficits in children.</p>

<blockquote>Sigman's review in fact only cites two published studies that show direct associations between TV viewing in this age group and negative consequences. The first, a 2004 <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longitudinal_study" title="Longitudinal study" rel="wikipedia" class="zem_slink">longitudinal study</a> by Dimitri Christakis and colleagues of 1200 children, found that for every extra hour of average daily TV viewing between birth and three years, the children were 10 per cent more likely to have attentional problems at age seven. The second, a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-sectional_study" title="Cross-sectional study" rel="wikipedia" class="zem_slink">cross-sectional study</a> by Dimitri Christakis and Darcy Thomson, found that among 2068 infants aged between four months and three years, those who watched more television also tended to have less regular afternoon and nighttime sleeping schedules.
The research base becomes more substantial when the focus is broadened to include TV viewing in older childhood and adolescence. For example, two studies by Robert Hancox and colleagues reported detrimental associations between TV viewing between the ages of five and 15, and educational attainment and several health measures at 26 years. Sigman's review, which also discusses harmful associations between adult TV viewing and mental and physical health, concludes these 'findings are set to re-cast the role of the television screen as the greatest unacknowledged <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_health" title="Public health" rel="wikipedia" class="zem_slink">public health</a> issue of our time'.
However, not all experts are sympathetic to Sigman's view. Dr Brian Young at the University of Exeter told us children are active in the way they use TV - they don't just sit on the receiving end of a stream of audiovisual input. 'There certainly are benefits for children interacting with TV,' he said. 'They learn stuff - it's as simple as that. But the best learning environment is where the mother or the family collectively consume television and discuss what's being seen. In that sense it's a 'window on the world'. However, he added: 'Any medium has a downside and unsupervised viewing by very young children - the "TV as a babysitter" - is not helpful.' </blockquote>

<p>Now consider the effects of violence in TV and video games. Are we training our children to <a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2009/09/john_dvoraks_second_opinion_social_networking_invi.php">tolerate routine violence</a>? I think so. It fact, it would appear that <a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2006/04/tv_is_an_experiment_on_our_chi.php">TV is an experiment on our children</a> increasing obesity, tobacco and alcohol use, risky sexual behaviors, violence and social isolation.</p>

<fieldset class="zemanta-related"><legend class="zemanta-related-title">Related articles by Zemanta</legend><ul class="zemanta-article-ul"><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://r.zemanta.com/?u=http%3A//abcnews.go.com/Technology/spanking-hurts-kids-iq/story%3Fid%3D8674444&amp;a=8021870&amp;rid=651d0660-e9d3-4938-bc79-223653ae2905&amp;e=4ce60dcacb6574bd0f392fe082491f76">Spanking Hurts Kids' IQ</a> (abcnews.go.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://r.zemanta.com/?u=http%3A//www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/09/16/spanking.children.parenting/index.html&amp;a=7705719&amp;rid=651d0660-e9d3-4938-bc79-223653ae2905&amp;e=0a809c9243c17041865e7c75a1ba2bf5">Study: Spanking has negative effect on kids</a> (cnn.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/09/27/the-debilitating-effects-of-tv-on-children/">The Debilitating Effects of TV on Children</a> (psychcentral.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2006/04/tv_is_an_experiment_on_our_chi.php">TV Is An Experiment On Our Children</a> (dare-to-dream.us)</li></ul></fieldset>

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                <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category">Adolescent Development</category>
            
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            <pubDate>Sun, 27 Sep 2009 11:00:23 -0600</pubDate>
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            <title>Generics versus Brands: Are They Really the Same?</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p>This is a topic that gets scant attention leaving the consuming public largely in the dark. Even though I work in the field, I've not hear this information except from my own reading. Fortunately, SSRIs are not as susceptible to problems crossing from brands to generics or between generics. But buproprion in other forms may not be as good as Wellbutrin.</p>

<div class="zemanta-img mt-image-right" style="margin: 1em; display: block; float: right; width: 310px;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Wellbutrin.jpg"><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/89/Wellbutrin.jpg/300px-Wellbutrin.jpg" alt="Wellbutrin XL" height="364" width="300"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image via <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Wellbutrin.jpg">Wikipedia</a></p></div><a href="http://www.medpagetoday.com/ProductAlert/Prescriptions/15665">Medical News</a>

<blockquote>Antidepressant and <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antipsychotic" title="Antipsychotic" rel="wikipedia">antipsychotic</a> drugs have become blockbusters for the firms that developed them, making them hot markets for generic competition. Moreover, the effectiveness of these drugs is measured in the same way as anticonvulsants -- either they work or they don't.

<p>Consequently, psychiatry is another specialty that has had to think about how to handle the variability in potency among generics.</p>

<p>Michael Thase, MD, of the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=39.953885,-75.193048&amp;spn=1.0,1.0&amp;q=39.953885,-75.193048%20%28University%20of%20Pennsylvania%29&amp;t=h" title="University of Pennsylvania" rel="geolocation">University of Pennsylvania</a> in Philadelphia, said that when problems do arise, it's usually when patients switch between different generic versions of a drug.</p>

<p>"There are multiple generics," Thase said, noting that broad bioavailability <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confidence_interval" title="Confidence interval" rel="wikipedia">confidence intervals</a> allow for substantial variation between different generics.</p>

<p>"If the pharmacy changes generics frequently, which often they do because it's a highly competitive business ... you might have some series of 40% fluctuations," he said. "Every few months there might be such a large fluctuation."</p>

<p>But for <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antidepressant" title="Antidepressant" rel="wikipedia">antidepressants</a>, clinical problems resulting from these fluctuations are not that common, he said.</p>

<p>The dose-response relationships with <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_serotonin_reuptake_inhibitor" title="Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor" rel="wikipedia">SSRIs</a> are not rigid, and, therefore, patients generally don't see big changes in drug effects, he said.</p>

<p>"You might have an increase in side effects with the change, or you might feel you've lost a bit of the therapeutic effect."</p>

<p>But some non-SSRI antidepressants aren't so forgiving, said Jeffrey Lieberman, MD, a psychiatrist at <a class="zem_slink" href="http://www.columbia.edu/" title="Columbia University" rel="homepage">Columbia University in New York</a> City.</p>

<p>He mentioned the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tricyclic_antidepressant" title="Tricyclic antidepressant" rel="wikipedia">tricyclic</a> drug nortriptyline and bupropion (<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bupropion" title="Bupropion" rel="wikipedia">Wellbutrin</a>) as more susceptible than most antidepressants to dosage variations.</p>

<p>In the case of bupropion, he said, seizure risk is relatively sensitive to dosage.</p>

<p>Thase acknowledged that cases do occur when patients suffer serious problems following switches to or between generics. But he said those cases tend to have an outsized influence on perceptions.</p>

<p>"You don't hear about all the times [problems] don't happen," he pointed out. "We may think it's a bigger problem than it is."</p>

<p>Lieberman said the common antipsychotics generally posed few problems with generics.</p>

<p>He said anecdotal reports of problems tended to focus on clozapine. "[It] seems to be a particular compound that suffers from this kind of experience," Lieberman said.</p>

<p>But he cautioned that these reports may result from "the kind of selective memory Michael [Thase] was talking about."</p>

<p>Lieberman noted that it was hard to pin down the potential for problems because -- as is the case with the antiepileptics -- systematic, <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_trial" title="Clinical trial" rel="wikipedia">controlled trials</a> to compare different generic formulations and the branded original are generally lacking.</blockquote><fieldset class="zemanta-related"><legend class="zemanta-related-title">Related articles by Zemanta</legend><ul class="zemanta-article-ul"><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://neuroskeptic.blogspot.com/2009/09/predicting-antidepressant-response-with.html">Predicting Antidepressant Response with EEG</a> (neuroskeptic.blogspot.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/antidepressants-benefit-snri-proven-24410.html">Antidepressants: Benefit of SNRI is proven</a> (scienceblog.com)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2007/06/cognitive_therapy_generally_as_effective_as_medica.php">Cognitive Therapy Generally As Effective As Medication</a> (dare-to-dream.us)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2006/05/serotonin_and_depression_a_dis.php">Serotonin and Depression: A Disconnect</a> (dare-to-dream.us)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2006/09/assessing_risk_of_suicide.php">Assessing Risk of Suicide</a> (dare-to-dream.us)</li><li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2006/11/suicide_rates_for_oldest_and_y.php">Suicide Rates for Oldest and Youngest Dropping</a> (dare-to-dream.us)</li></ul></fieldset></p>

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            <pubDate>Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:53:11 -0600</pubDate>
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            <title>Boundaries and Safety for the New Social Media</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p>We've all heard about viruses and websites that steal our sensitive private information. Cyberstalking has also become a problem on social media sites. Blogs, <a class="zem_slink" href="http://twitter.com" title="Twitter" rel="homepage">Twitter</a>, <a class="zem_slink" href="http://myspace.com" title="MySpace" rel="homepage">MySpace</a> and <a class="zem_slink" href="http://facebook.com" title="Facebook" rel="homepage">Facebook</a>, in particular, are prone to this sort of abuse. <div class="zemanta-img mt-image-right" style="margin: 1em; display: block; float: right; width: 250px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49503019876@N01/1824234195"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2227/1824234195_e6b913c563_m.jpg" alt="My social Network on Flickr, Facebook, Twitter..." height="187" width="240"></a><p class="zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49503019876@N01/1824234195">luc legay</a> via Flickr</p></div>But even cellphone texting can be a problem since you can forward others details where ever you want. Although there are mixed reviews of just how much of a risk there is, there is agreement there is a risk. Parents should certainly provide <a href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2068733/why_you_should_spy_on_your_kids_pg2.html?cat=25">supervision for their kids</a> with the youngest getting the most.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.marketwatch.com/story/social-networking-invites-crime-2009-09-04?siteid=rss&amp;rss=1">John Dvorak</a>, a columnist at MarketWatch.com recently posted an interesting article.</p>

<blockquote>If I were a professional thief, the first thing I would do is get a computer, find the folks out there who document everything they do on <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_network_service" title="Social network service" rel="wikipedia">social-networking sites</a> and go rob them.</blockquote>

<p>There are a couple of risk that make this particular crime possible. If you tell the world what you are doing and where you are going, you are telling any criminal that might be listening when you've vacated your house. You may have already listed items in your house that might be particularly desirable by the thief, like the computer, PS3, perhaps even the type of car you have in the driveway. </p>

<p>Here are some rules for social media everyone should know about and practice regularly.</p>

<p>1. There is really only one reason to use your real name on the internet: to promote yourself or your business. Do a regular thorough search using <a class="zem_slink" href="http://google.com" title="Google" rel="homepage">Google</a> of your full name, your address, and other identifying data and make sure all that you find is removed. Make sure your phone number and address are unlisted and there is no other way to find where you live. If you do promote yourself, use an <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-mail_address" title="E-mail address" rel="wikipedia">email address</a> as your contact point. To prevent misuse, change the @ sign to (at) or -at- to keep the robots from snapping up your email for spam lists. Or, better yet, use a virtual business card that has a contact form like <a href="http://card.ly">card.ly</a>. Then no one gets your email address until you decide. </p>

<p>2, Be careful about what you put on your site, like where you are, who is home, and when you go to work or go on vacation. Acquaintances who know your nick name on the internet might decide to break into your house while you are gone or share with others who you really are. Remember, personal information becomes permanently available to whomever wants it once you post it. Employers and college admission officers are regularly searching the internet for applicant's antics. Remember if you are protecting your identity in Twitter and refer to your Facebook site that identifies you, you've only delayed someone who might want to hurt you. If you post your picture on the internet, that could identify you to someone you don't want to know or could be used in a faked porn picture.</p>

<p>3. If you say something cruel to someone, remember that it's recorded forever for anyone who looks. Not only have you hurt another person, you have hurt yourself and your reputation forever. Your repeated insults on the internet could be turned against you and used as evidence to charge you with cyberstalking or cyberbullying and turned into civil or criminal charges.</p>

<p>4. Never give out personal information that could identify you. This includes:<br />
    * full name<br />
    * home address<br />
    * phone number<br />
    * <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Security_number" title="Social Security number" rel="wikipedia">Social Security number</a><br />
    * passwords<br />
    * names of family members<br />
    * <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Credit_card" title="Credit card" rel="wikipedia">credit card</a> numbers</p>

<p>5. Keep online friendships in the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_world" title="Virtual world" rel="wikipedia">virtual world</a>. Meeting online friends carries more risks than other types of friendships because it's easy for people to pretend to be something they're not when you can't see them or talk in person. Even if you "feel" you know someone, you really can't know them as well as if you had known them face to face. Some people think they have fallen in "love" with an online friend. The only thing you can fall in love with online is your fantasy of who the other person might be. The non-verbal and contextual clues about another person is sometimes the only thing that can keep us safe in a face to face relationship. Our intuitions about trust are truly potential lifesavers. What we know about another persons history from our own and others experiences fill in the picture. These aids to judgment either don't exist online or are clouded by an 'unseen' or undocumented history. If you must meet someone you know from on line, do so as if you are meeting someone for the first time, because you are. Meet only in public preferably with someone else. And don't give out personal information like you would with someone you just met.</p>

<p>Let me know if I missed anything. I'll update as needed.<br />
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            <link>http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2009/09/john_dvoraks_second_opinion_social_networking_invi.php</link>
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                <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category">Sub-cultures</category>
            
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                <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Facebook</category>
            
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            <pubDate>Fri, 04 Sep 2009 14:59:58 -0600</pubDate>
        </item>
        
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            <title>The shy connector</title>
            <description><![CDATA[<p>Are you shy? Find networking very difficult? Rather stay at home, or watch from a distance? Here is a great slide set and blog post from <a href="http://sachachua.com/wp/2009/08/11/the-shy-connector-thinking-out-loud/">Sacha Chua</a>. Check it out:</p>

<p><img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyNTA5NjA4MzM1NDYmcHQ9MTI1MDk2MDg1ODU2MiZwPTEwMTkxJmQ9c3NfZW1iZWQmZz*yJm89N2JiMTAxNmRkNWFkNGE3YWI2YjIyZjFiMjA1ZGVhMDQmb2Y9MA==.gif" /><div style="width:425px;text-align:left" id="__ss_1879213"><a style="font:14px Helvetica,Arial,Sans-serif;display:block;margin:12px 0 3px 0;text-decoration:underline;" href="http://www.slideshare.net/sachac/the-shy-connector" title="The Shy Connector">The Shy Connector</a><object style="margin:0px" width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://static.slidesharecdn.com/swf/ssplayer2.swf?doc=the-shy-connector-090818212320-phpapp01&stripped_title=the-shy-connector" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"/><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"/><embed src="http://static.slidesharecdn.com/swf/ssplayer2.swf?doc=the-shy-connector-090818212320-phpapp01&stripped_title=the-shy-connector" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><div style="font-size:11px;font-family:tahoma,arial;height:26px;padding-top:2px;">View more <a style="text-decoration:underline;" href="http://www.slideshare.net/">documents</a> from <a style="text-decoration:underline;" href="http://www.slideshare.net/sachac">Sacha Chua</a>.</div></div></p>]]></description>
            <link>http://www.dare-to-dream.us/archives/2009/08/the_shy_connector.php</link>
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            <pubDate>Sat, 22 Aug 2009 12:09:24 -0600</pubDate>
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